Perfectionism..
What do you relate this word to?
Someone who is particular about their work and makes everything they do perfect or their best work?
Someone who always has neat and tidy writing?
Someone who always colours in between the lines?
No, no and ohhh heck no!
Instead it’s someone who is something who wants everything to be perfect but is afraid : a) to put in their all in case they fall short , b) of their own high expectations or c) knows their high expectations can be reached but unsure if they can maintain these expectations. Basically you are fooling yourself either way…
Who would have thought I fit into this category. I am speechless and somewhat annoyed. How is it that I have caged myself here?
Well apparently I am a perfectionist, but that doesn’t always guarantee that you do not settle for less with the quality of work you can produce. It means the opposite. And if you could hear me now, I am laughing my loud, continuous laugh. Laughing out loud to say the least, because this is hilarious to me. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I have non-perfectionist tendencies, and that is when I am MOST happiest.
How ironic, I wonder who comes up with these. Whoever they are, they should go beyond just labelling and identifying idiosyncrasies such as these and tell us what in the world we can do with it. I guess I have two options… 1) Own it and make it a part of who I am and 2) Don’t own it, and change your thinking.
Personally I think it is silly, I don’t know where it comes from- I mean being a high achiever all my life, shouldn’t it just be second nature to just continue doing so? Perhaps it is something that has developed and will go away.
What I find interesting is it isn’t just me that has been branded with a label written on bright fluoro sticker and stuck to my chest. We all have these quirks and such that put a name to our behaviours. And it seems that everyone knows it before I do, even though I over think everything. I wonder if Perfectionism is just on the outside to more deep seeded issues. If it is, then honestly you should learn how to take it easssyyyy. Or else it COULD become harder.
All I know is there is a way to beat it. Basically you just say no. No… this is just a name and maybe I might be feeling like a perfectionist for this one task but that shouldn’t define who I am. Defining behaviours that I might do here and there shouldn’t be the reason for everything. In some ways I think we would be liberated if we didn’t have these shackles of labels even though at the same time understanding your behaviour can be liberating as well.
We can all help each other, instead of calling each other names. Honestly if I labeled my friends’ weird behaviours every time I pick up on them (and believe me, I do) then I would be basically putting them into a box instead of the dynamic individuals I see them as.
When I remind them of who (else) they are, at a time when their perfectionist parrot perches on their shoulder, they no longer think about the standards they think is expected of them, and they act according to who they are. They gain confidence in who they are and the decisions they make because those decisions are based on their OWN expectations. Not expectations they are trying to measure up to. Expectations they/ we guess the recipient is going to have.
Truth is, everyone will look at your work differently. Sometimes there is no rounded set of rules and standards- not everyone will like your work. And if there are a set of rules and standards that are explicit, well there’s no need to stress out, make a checklist and get through it one by one.
Procrastination is good sometimes, because you discover a whole world of inspiration and resources on the net and your whole house is sparking clean (haha) but at the same time it can be debilitating. Work out the reason for your perfectionism in each situation separately. If you feel you are a square peg- then this isn’t going to bother you as much, but if you aren’t it is going to cause a conflict of interest. In which case you can embrace your differences, or struggle each time you sit to work at a task you feel you interpret differently. Just do it, let it develop and as a wise friend told me today… Live it. Embrace it. Cherish it.
You are what you are- not everyone will like it, but you can create your own niche 🙂
Remember:
YOURSELF
My Own Two Feet 