Hope love and lessons learned…And it started with Churchill

This isn’t political.

This isn’t about being historically accurate.

This isn’t a statement about what I feel about him as a politician.

This is about the hope.

This man is just one example of the hope I was looking for!! And you know what, that makes all the difference for me on my journey. It should for you too. If it’s possible to fight your physiology; he shows us.
He died at home with loved ones in his life… It is possible. It’s possible for people to understand you. See you through your struggle, celebrate with you when you feel crazy happy.

Me….for me….for me it is possible too.

Just because you give doesn’t mean you will receive. There are a million billion amazing quotes that remind you to know your worth.. And when you are ready…you’ll know when to make a decision best for you.

I have epiphanies all the time…but it doesn’t matter so much if I share them unless you can a) feel it on your skin and relate or b) you’re ready to do something about your current situation. But I will share them anyway in case one person reads it and feels LESS alone and enlightens some positivity.
I come to these epiphanies through deep thinking about myself and others because I always wonder why and look for patterns. I want to live a full life because I truly love people. I want to get them… And to get them and be a good person I need to get me and be good to myself.

Ego driven goals or expectations from life are a big turn off and unhealthy! …and unfortunately I have a difficult time with people who are done growing. But I get it. Baggage is sealed and they don’t want to leave that comfort zone. Their habits and ways and wants are established and there are “no other” (quotations because this is a choice) perspectives left. This is why sometimes people need to want to help themselves before they can take the steps (even if they have seen a dr so to speak). Whatever “reward” (psychologically speaking) is to be had is their own, and even if others around them feel the impact, it’s “our” (family, loved ones) job to support until ready. To my dismay if I felt like that it would be disheartening and would make me depressed, I don’t find comfort in misery unless I am in depression…. And to be honest that’s not desired. I met people like this on my camino… And I must say I felt very bad one day when his beliefs begun to irritate me and so I stopped to change my shoes…

My big stink about RW is really over. Now that I feel how tired he must have been I get it. I do…but I also get that not everyone who recognises their black dog is going to end up making that decision…

Churchill has been an inspiration for me since about 2008… His quote “if you’re going through hell, keep going” was the beacon of hope, and I was only to discover there was so much more. It didn’t offer any promises or sparkles…it just said something that my physiology in my brain betrays and tries to fight back….”carry on.”

Carry on…because there is always hope. Always. Hold onto it like a rich man to his jewels. That hope is all yours and it should be a reminder.

I read something today or maybe it was a YouTube video : that accepting death (I really should reference this) doesn’t mean you embrace it or you don’t grieve…it simply means you can carry on without thinking “why” or “why is this happening to me?”

People in my life give me strength not because they comfort me…but they have taught me skills and awareness. Awareness about myself, the good things, the signs that something is wrong and above all to be kind to myself and forgive myself. Along with my effort and persistence I’ve made a change. Doesn’t mean my demons will never try and infiltrate…but whose doesn’t…there’s no need to feel ashamed when you need help, can’t cope or are struggling…carry on and look at how you can fight to keep realistic perspectives. Life is about support and community and focusing on what’s important… Rather than wondering who you’re supposed to be -> just be…

Takes practice and a lot of it. Like ridiculously…. It never goes away..it’s a daily battle but it’s a worthy battle and yeah I do need people like Churchill or Andrew Solomon to show me otherwise…. I’m grateful for that.

So get up… Be aware/mindful of yourself…accept certain things (this part you must do) and carry on…

You can retrain your brain… Hormones (females) and neurotransmitters might betray you from time to time…but equip yourself and you will recover.

It’s ok to lose control sometimes but be aware that you have and that you’ll get past it…just like every other time because you my friend…are a survivor …. You are resilient…. And you have grown.